Judgements, Stories and Stopping Unwanted Experiences

Judgements happen almost instantaneously, and often this perspective can parade as the only correct view, when there are always different ways of seeing things and perceiving external events. Almost every time something occurs in our experience that elicits an emotional response we judge it as good or bad; a car cuts you off, a child starts crying, the rain begins to fall, a passerby bumps into you and doesn’t say anything, or a bill is found in the mailbox. These particular events mostly bring up negative emotions, and although our judgement of the event is true to itself, it is often based on a past experience and when we identify the current event with a similar one from the past we are not seeing things clearly as a result.
Why? because it is actually a brand new experience and the recurring quality is often the only part noticed because it is a result of thoughts that keep thinking you, rather than you being the chooser of your thoughts, and therefore your experience. If you could, and believed you could, I am fairly certain you would choose thoughts that feel good and bring you closer to what you truly want, but unless you are keenly aware of your inner state and your emotional reactions and projections, these problems are bound to persist, because you can’t change and won’t change something unless you can do three things.

1. see it.
2. identify it as unwanted
3. believe that it can be changed.

Soon I’ll show you how to develop a skill to notice and watch this phenomenon happening with incredible clarity. For now I’ll try to illustrate how this interesting unconscious trap works.

Let’s take the example of a bill coming in the mail, and slow … it … right…down…almost to a halt. Think of the the sensory data as streams of energy arriving to your senses as different vibrations being interpreted and translated into your experience of it. They travel into your mind and light up your awareness and BANG! reality exists right before you…isn’t that miraculous in and of itself!? cause it blows my mind. Anyways, back to the “nasty” bill. Just as you are beginning to grab the mail and even moments before let’s take a snapshot ofa possible and probable inner state for most of us.

The experience begins with an impulse to get the mail.

“was that the mail man?….I’ll go check.”

Now, as you decide to go get the mail a whole slew of thoughts could be running through the mind about what could be waiting. You consider a bill could be in the mix, which is essentially a request for money from a company or institution providing a service or product, but this is not often the simplistic view. These infamous envelopes turn into something different than what is objectively true, and our story can often cause tension to arise in us and energy to be unconsciously focused on that which we do not want in our lives.

What we want to stop are the unwanted experiences and we can start by noticing that all the related emotional tension we feel is not part of the sensory experience of holding a piece of mail, it is a direct product of the judgment about what that mail means. I know it doesn’t change the fact that the bill is draining your account, but to get anywhere we have to start by seeing that our judgements are malleable and not always fact. We can choose a judgement that serves us, our environment, our loved ones, and other humans in a way that stops the unwanted experiences from persisting.

But where do all these judgements come from?

They are stories. Often ancient, and handed down by our family or society.

We live in a story factory, and the question is where do they come from and how are we perceiving the stories? And…what is our experience of them? Sometimes they are pleasurable, other times they are painful. We feel pleasure when a good story is told about an experience and we feel pain when a bad story turns up. All pain and suffering is rooted in illusion. And when I say illusion, I mean a mistaken perception about reality causing suffering; a lie; a sin. By the way, ‘to sin’ just means to ‘miss a shot,’ or to ‘miss the mark.’ It has no implied meaning of wrongness. This is just another mistaken judgment about karma and existence.

So, an illusion is a lie, and the bigger the lie being told, the worse we feel. For example, “I am alone, I hate my life, nobody loves me, and I dont want to exist,” is very very far from the truth, and you know this because you can imagine the feelings that would be caused by these thoughts. If you have even been there, you know how dark it can be, and this is the consequence of the belief in lies. Lies effect suffering while the truth feels brilliant.

With that in mind, try out this next story out compared to the miserable tale above.

“I am one with all creation, life is incredible, I am deeply loved by many, and existence is infinite, I can not die, I am part of all that is and I have and will exist forever in some way or another.” You can see how the vibrational tone of stories can change dramatically and how we feel determines how close we are to perceiving the truth about something. Once you get the hang of re-tellng stories, you can really have fun and try out different ways of playing with it.

Let’s go back to the bill and try out this new approach.

One story I personally used to frequently tell about receiving a bill is, “Shit, these guys are crooks and they just want to take my money, I hate it!” But a story I’ve learned to tell that is closer to the truth and consequently feels much better is, “This company is providing me with a very useful service that I really appreciate having, and it really improves the quality of my life. I know a portion of my money will go to other people who are also trying their best at life, just like me, and I’m happy to move the flow of value in and through the economic system that we collectively create. I understand that the more I am willing to flow out, the more I am willing to receive in. This is how nature functions and it feels good to contribute to human progress.”

You can go on and on, do it as much as you want, and for as long as you want. The better the story feels the closer you are to the truth and aligned with what your life has caused you to desire. If you are feeling bad, you are stuck in an illusion that is probably not even your story. So ditch it! Make something else up that feels better. As you change your stories about your body, your money, your relationships and your life, you change your experience. And if you tell a story long enough and with sufficient focus, your behavior changes, and when your behaviour changes, your actions change, and eventually, your life will become a living example of the truth of who you are because you made a decision to feel better by telling a story that reflects the truth rather than affirming something exists that doesn’t and is causing you suffering as a result. Soon enough, telling good feeling stories will become a habit and you can look forward to challenges and things like getting bills because not only does it mean you get to feel and express appreciation in the form of money, but you know that as you flow money out you open up space for more to come in. Telling new stories is one way to live the life of our dreams. To get there quicker we can develop the ability to see our inner state clearer and slow down the reactive programs that are constantly arising in response to sensory stimulation.

Clear vision is key. I’ll write about that in the next post.


May 25, 2010. Uncategorized.

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